So you are Mr. or Ms. Big Shot. Okay, more than likely you are Mr. or Ms. Thinks They Are A Big Shot. Maybe you have a book or a TV show or a podcast or a popular blog or a big company or a big position or a fancy car. Maybe you are known. Maybe you are actually a big deal.
Get over yourself.
You know who was the worst about this for a while? Me.
Ridiculous, right?
It wasn’t even over anything big. My blog was gaining popularity and I started to receive many comments and e-mails a day. So what did I do? Acted like a diva about it of course. I started setting arbitrary rules as to what sort of e-mails I would respond to. I reduced my Google reader down to about ten sources. I started reading what some other nice people thought about me and actually believed it. I truly believed I was brilliant and knew more than everybody (at least in this crazy, niche’d up world).
Of course, the pressure of this new life was killer. I complained to someone about this new life circumstance and they kindly but firmly said:
Get over yourself.
When I sat down and embraced this philosophy, it was actually very freeing. I was free to not act like an insufferable prick to every wayward PR person who happened to track down my phone number. I was free to respond to e-mails in less than a month’s time (I am still terrible at e-mail for non-big shot reasons). I was free to write some of my best writing to date because I didn’t have to worry about whether this big shot would keep his rep. I was free to make connections with non-big shots who actually turned out to be better than me in almost every way.
I know a lot of real life big shots who got this lesson early on. You are never too big to act like a human being to people that like you and have allowed you to influence their lives.
Get over yourself.
Why did I think about this today? Someone e-mailed me asking for assistance about starting a blog. The e-mail assumed I was super busy and probably not interested but it was worth a shot since they’ve been reading my blog for 18 months. Wait, they read me for 18 months and thought I may not be interested in helping them out?
They were probably just being polite about taking up time but let me say this once and for all: I am busy but I am always happy to help if I am able. And if I am not able, I am happy to help guide you in the right direction.
Me? A big shot who is too busy to help out someone who has read this blog for 18 months? I got over myself a long time ago. Let’s help each other become less dumb together.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
What’s interesting about this is that it often takes – as you allude to – someone on the outside to throw a glass of ice water in our face. I think your comments apply to each and every one of us…cause we all have something we need to “get over ourselves about.” I was thinking about the concept of a “Personal Board of Directors” today (see http://hrfishbowl.wordpress.com/)…I think having a Personal Board of Directors would help throw that glass of ice water from time to time. Wait, did that self-promotional mention of my blog demonstrate a need to get over myself…probably. Oh well. Thanks for the humbling post.
Lance,
Thank you for taking time in responding to me. You were one of the only HR blogs that did email me back in the last 3-4 weeks. I appreciate it.
The other day I got a call from someone who is looking for work and wants to transfer to Dallas. I really didn’t see much in it for me, but I have to help these people. They are the ones we are all trying to help- the unemployed. I have a list of people that I talk to and pray for to find employment.
I want to be a person who is never to busy to help someone who needs help. I hope we can all do that as well. Thanks.
To me you actually are a big shot! It’s nice to know that I’m not the only person who sucks at email – I would like to hope for “non-big-shot” reasons as well. Keep being real. That’s why we love you.
Bravo Lance!
There is nothing wrong with humble and grounded. Yesterday’s press clippings are exactly that. Enjoy each day and pay it forward- always- good for you!
Lance –
Very cool post – thanks for sharing that.
It’s frustrating to take the time to respond to every email, and often not even get a “thanks” in return. However, every once in a while I get a response back that blows me away – thanking me for taking the time or how my advice made a difference in their lives. That makes it all worthwhile.
I was impressed by your input at HRevolution. I continued to be enlightened by your insight. I agree with your sentiment. What matters most is being open minded, and willing to listen to others with an open heart. I can see you do that. You are one of the brightest HR Pros I’ve met. Thank you for enriching my twitterverse.
Sincerely,
Margo Rose @HRMargo http://hrmargo.com
Wow Lance, we all know how easy it is to start believing our own hype. I love that you point it out- it’s a good reminder for us all. I will say that I don’t know that you needed someone to tell you to get over yourself. I personally have found you very helpful since the first time we connected. You’re sincerity and generosity are two of your best qualities. Keep it up.
Lance-
I have followed your posts for maybe 9 months. I am looking forward to getting to know you better, and I have started a blog of my own. I may have been one of those people who thought at one point (he is too busy to bother with me)
This world moves fast and furious, and it get’s crazy following folks and keeping up.
Thanks for the gentle reminder, to just be yourself. You are very generous and sincere.
Cheers!
Shennee Rutt
Lance – great words to follow for anyone who feels they may be an up and comer. If CornOnTheJob does blow up, I’ll make sure to stay away from diva-ville!
Since you and I first connected, I’ve found you to be incredible easy to work with, and while you may be very busy you have always got back to me within a realistic time frame. I appreciate the advice you’ve provided, as well as your help in covering MeritBuilder.
Glad that you and I connected, and I always look forward to what’s new at rehaul!
What a refreshing take on the A-List blogging culture. Thank you!
What a refreshing take on the “A-List” blogging culture. Thank you!
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