Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.
–Sir Winston Churchill
It’s been a difficult week for me as you can imagine. Nobody likes to feel that they’ve lost a grip on their career so suddenly. The range of emotions from extreme doubt to sadness to anger to…well, you know. All of that negative stuff we don’t like to think about when we realize we may not be so untouchable after all. Maybe I could get some levity because I am part of Generation Y? Who would that fool? I don’t believe in that stuff.
That being said, it has also been a very positive week and I have reason to be optimistic. How could this be? The world economy is still in disaray, local unemployment is in the double digits and I don’t have a job. I get it. But I am rebounding. Here’s how to do it:
- Be Prepared – You don’t have to be in ready stance 24/7 to be prepared. There are several things you can do to make sure difficulties are made easier. For example, my wife and I have a financial cushion that helped the freak out session about money be brief. I have worked incredibly hard on expanding my professional network in the last 18 months. These are the type of things that can help you cope for difficulties when they arise.
- Reach Out to Your Network – When trouble came, I wasn’t shy about reaching out to people. I posted on my blog. I encouraged others to do the same if they felt comfortable (thank you Kris, Michael and William). I appreciate the many people who retweeted the news. I reached out to people I’ve helped in the past because I knew they would be willing to help me. I also tried to do it in a personal way and not sending a mass broadcast to all of my contacts.
- Take Action – The best way to get over feeling blue about difficulties? Succeeding at doing something that is going to push you forward. In my first week of unemployment, I wanted to touch base with my entire network and let them know that I was available as well as make at least twenty new contacts by asking people for them. It not only felt good but it actually helped me out a ton.
- Give Back – I went to my grandma’s to help her out with a couple things and I’ve researched a couple of volunteer opportunities in August that I can help with. After I find a position, I am going to continue to give back and appreciate those opportunities a lot more (they’ve helped give me the boost I need).
- Learn Something – Not that I ever taken an employment decision lightly but I think I’ve handled them routinely in the past and not been as ready to assist as I could be. What a world of difference being on the other side of that decision, right? Learning something from the difficulties in life is the best gift you can give yourself.
Where are you at on this? How have you rebounded from a difficulty?
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Last month, the best job I had interviewed for in my year-long search for employment fell apart. I don’t know what happened (and neither does the recruiter) because the contact just quit speaking to both of us. But it threw me into a tailspin and depression that I had not expected.
For a year I was pretty upbeat, despite the job-search difficulty. Here in the Detroit area, the economy has been far worse for far longer than anywhere else in the country. Knowing that there are far more people in worse shape than you is sad, but comforting. I was confident in my abilities and felt that I could find someone else to see those abilities, given time.
But when the last blow came, I completely lost my sense of self-esteem for a little while. I was so despondent that I cried over a Weird Al Yankovic video on YouTube. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNo8LvdOwSk) I felt that my inability to convince this company that they should hire me was somehow the total definition of me, and that me was a failure.
Fortunately, it only took me a couple of weeks to decide that my whole outlook was wrong. If I had hit some kind of a brick wall, I needed to find a way to go under, around or over it. Standing there crying or rubbing my shins just wasn’t going to help much.
So I got online and started doing more research on social media and how it can help you with your personal brand and how you can use it to build a network. I really didn’t have much of a network, coming from an industry (meat/poultry processing) that is still in the computer dark ages, and I still don’t. But I am now on Linkedin and Twitter and I’m TALKING! I’m pretty new and I’m making mistakes and I know it will take some time – but I am back on track. Rebounded. Smiling again.
I like the last point best – do something differently, learn from your actions (or non-results). I love the saying “if you are in a hole then stop digging”. It seems that with the job-search people run into brick walls and instead of learning how to go around them, they back up and get a running start…. The simple fact is that most people don’t really have a job-search process, so there is no ‘process they can trust’ when results aren’t what we want them to be. Without a process, it is hard to measure progress (and put in changes that have measurable results).
Changing jobs is often seen as a stressful and daunting task; however properly executed it can be an exciting and challenging experience.
I feel your pain. No matter how well we plan, there always seems to be a financial challenge looming. It just tires you out. So here is how I had to start this morning with difficult financial news, so I could maintain my sanity:
-I call it the 10 minute reconnect: This is my trick for landing on your feet when the world is trying to shake you off.
First – read the inspirational words of others who always seem to move you (for me these are Steve Farber, Sherwin Nuland and Tom Peters).
Second – find three things to be thankful for – and look everywhere because the best ones sometimes go unnoticed. At this point I am generally feeling better.
Finally – I restate my purpose, focus or goal – and refuse to be disrupted from my objectives. I think of this of reaffirming that my work (or life) plan is still valid and needs to be kept on track. I end up by adding a few “got to do” things for the day to get back in my groove. This generally gets be back to my normal overly analytic but jovial self.
Three steps – they take 10 minutes in total. Read for inspiration. Say Thank you. Reconfirm your direction. It works. I needed it today. Hope it helps.
At the risk of listing a couple of “don’ts,” in such a stressful time, be extra careful to take great care of your body. Don’t drink alcohol, and don’t overeat. It’s really, really easy to give in to those temptations, to try to assuage your feelings.
It hurts more.
Get out. Exercise. Keep busy. Every job change I’ve made (some more by choice than others!) has resulted in great positive growth. Keep working that network, but don’t forget about those employers in your own backyard!
To rebound from difficulty, I look for something to inspire me. Your last line from point #5 — “Learning something from the difficulties in life is the best gift you can give yourself.” — was what I needed tonight. Thanks!